Trey · 27 · Neutrois


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husband · fiancée



Simple definition posters for some of the aromantic spectrum

Demiromantic here


Remember that movie in which Jack Black was a teacher and building a rock band and when a little black chubby girl asked to be a singer he only said “sure! let me hear you” and the moment she started using her beautiful voice his lit up like all of his dreams came true, PLUS the same little girl was scared that people would make fun of her because she was fat and he started listing awesome singers with some weight on and included himself and told her that people wouldn’t laugh because she is awesome at what she does and that is all that matters PLUS that it’s ok to enjoy food?

Also, when a little boy asked to be the band’s stylist he just said “sure, go ahead fancy pants” like, there wasn’t a single second of questioning it, he went into “ok, that will be your position then” right away

That fucking movie is an hour and a half of Jack Black teaching kids to love themselves disregarding all of the stereotypes



I am so proud of Christina right now



I’m sticking this over here since this is where other discussions of this have come up, but here, have a description of why PTSD triggers suck and avoiding them is important even when they’re not immersive flashbacks:

At the beginning of the year, I was dangerously depressed. But since we’ve managed to get my meds stabilized I’ve been quite well, to the point where people who see me intermittently, like my parents, have been remarking on how much better I seem.

Week before last, A Trigger Happened. I didn’t actually notice - I had a lot on my mind - but that didn’t mean it didn’t have an effect, and I quite rapidly ramped up my hostility, my aggression, started having huge trouble sleeping, etc. Then this last week, Another Trigger Happened.

Same deal: I’m sleeping badly. I’m touchy as fuck, whether I’m trying to be or not. More sinister, however, is that my cognitive capacity has gone down (I’m objectively dumber and less able to complete mental tasks or adequately concentrate on necessary activities than I was last month), my self-worth is in the toilet, I want to sleep all the time - and people who see me in face-to-face space (where they can see how I move, and how my facial expressions change, and how I respond to things) have gone back to their various expressions of worry.

To whit: two middling triggers, one of which I didn’t identify at the time, have more or less erased the good effects of my medications. If this follows pattern, I may be approaching normal by sometime next week. Maybe. That’s most of a month trashed.

This is why a) No, stereotypical flashbacks are not the only kind of triggers, but also b) no, really, the experience of someone with a mental illness having that mental illness triggered is not the same as someone without one being passingly upset by something, and why that difference is important.



do u ever start to do a thing that is Stereotypically Mentally Ill (i.e. rocking, crying n muttering and doing Weird movements) and u feel like u r Faking it to seem mentally ill. even tho its completely involuntary and u r alone so thers no one to fake to except urself

These are self soothing behviors and are actually a good thing. Mostly all humans do things like this when in crisis/distress. People with mental illnesses are more susceptible/likely to be in higher levels of distress on a regular basis. It’s a pretty healthy and normal reaction, but if the people around you don’t understand the distress you don’t get the help you might need and are made to feel “weird”. If you don’t like your current coping skills or want to improve them there are lots of web resources and also professional counseling. Coping skills that work for you are good.



what the fuck, capitalism is so fucking shitty, THIS is what they mean when they say money is the root of all evil.

This is why shoplifting from Wal-Mart does nothing to hurt the corporation, it hurts the minimum wage workers who work there.

Completely refusing to purchase from Wal-Mart is more likely to hurt the corporation in the long-run than stealing a few bags of candy or a shitty phone case.

I’d like the point out that boycotting Walmart, especially in small towns, is equally likely to hurt the hourly employees with little to no effect seen up top. When business goes down, the CEOs don’t take pay cuts- the hourly employees lose hours. They can cut full time employees down to 32 hours a week, part timers only need to keep 8 hours awake to stay employed. They can, will, and DO cut hours, not just during a boycott if/when sales go down, but EVERY WINTER from after Christmas through until March- EVERYONE loses hours.

Also, boycotting Walmart just plain isn’t an option for some areas. There was literally, and I mean this, only one other grocery store in the area where I was a Walmart employee, and the prices were not comparable at all-  doing all of our shopping at Walmart was ridiculous (we were literally paying more than half our paychecks back into the company), but not as ridiculous as paying nearly twice as much for basic necessity groceries. 

Make statements, get involved in education, maybe those of us outside the system could push and try to get Walmart unionized (which, if you bring up the topic as an employee it’s grounds for termination). But telling people to just boycott isn’t going to stop people who have NO OTHER OPTION (for groceries, for clothes, for a PHARMACY), and it’s going to do more to damage the paychecks of the individual hourly employees than it would ever be noticed by the CEOs. 



Here’s a weird story. That site Who Dated Who lists Nathan Lane as a rumored ex-boyfriend of Ricky Martin. Naturally I decided to investigate. Turn out t was a fake rumor from Perez Hilton, go figure. Somehow though I decided i wanted to read Lane’s coming out interview. I Googled and found old back issues of The Advocate archived in Google Books

So I read the interview, and then skim through the rest of the issue. It’s interesting to see where the gay press was in 1999. Apparently Keith Richards is a giant homophobe and Jon Stewart has always been pretty cool. Go figure. 

The advertisements are still the kind you’ll see in gay mags today: booze, cigarettes, HIV meds. But then half way though I start seeing a lot of ads for vague financial services, and I don’t really pay attention to them. That is until I see this one. I assumed it was some horrible, horrible joke about negative to positive cash flow, but then I see the word “Viatical settlement.” Then I realize that term is in all of these ads. I have no idea what is, so of course I got to Wikipedia. 

Turns out Viatical settlements were a once little used arrangement where you could sell your life insurance policy for cash up front, and then the buyer would get the full payout when you died. 

They’re legal, but weren’t very prominent until the ’80s when AIDS took off. Since you know gay marriage wasn’t a thing, gay men often didn’t have anyone to have on their life insurance except their parents, people they may have been estranged from or who might not have needed the money. 

So this entire industry pops up around Viatical settlements. Gay men got some of their life insurance money when they were still alive, kicked the bucket from AIDS a little while later, then the buyer cashed in. 

From the perspective of the investor, purchasing a vatical is similar to buying a zero coupon bond with an uncertain maturity date [however an annual maintenance fee is payable i.e. the policy premium],” says. Wiki. “The return depends on the seller’s life expectancy and when he or she dies.”

Gay mens deaths: just like buying a zero coupon bond!

And, ok, on one level, great, it provided a much needed way to get money for gay men dying of a disease. On the other this was sadly the easiest way for them to get money. An entire financial services industry arose around the deaths of hundreds of thousands of gay men.

People found a way to profit off of the AIDS crisis. Like holy shit. There’s people still to this day who probably have vacation homes they bought because gay men died. 

America right there. 

Keep in mind this issues is dated 1999. This was just 15 years ago. 

this was in my lifetime


stop hating on characters for being justifiably disturbed upset or scared given their situation 2k14



I want lgbt book stores, lgbt coffee houses, and lgbt theaters to replace lgbt bars as centers of community, places to meet people, and lgbt rights of passage.

YES. i am so fucking TIRED of every queer event being at a bar or another 21+ venue, especially when alcoholism is a thing for so many, esp. queer youth, and community isolation is such a major factor in so many suicides.

Things To Remember


  • Don’t be angry at yourself when anxiety/depression flares up. It isn’t your fault and no one blames you and if they do they’re pieces of shit.
  • Don’t orbit around your perceived value so much. You’re not the sum total of what you produce.
  • Don’t let yourself wonder why people love you. That’s not how it works. There are not stark, individual reasons that a person can enumerate about why they love you. It’s the entire, unique combination of what and who you are.
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